“Hostess” Cupcakes and Twinkies

So I’m sure we can all agree that the demise of Hostess last year was probably a good thing…right?…Right?! It’s one less packaged and processed, sugar coated excuse for food that’s fueling the obesity epidemic in America. For me though it was like a bad break up, I knew it was over and that it was for the best, but I didn’t want it to happen! No more Twinkies, Cupcakes, Ding Dongs, Ho-Ho’s, or the little mini doughnuts! Okay let me be honest here, I seriously haven’t had a Twinkie since probably 2007. Not because I haven’t wanted to eat one, but because they are terrible for you! Even before I was Paleo I knew that, does anyone not know that? Rumor has it that only Twinkies and cockroaches will survive the apocalypse. Twinkies because they are so full of preservatives and artificial everything, making it impossible for them to ever go bad. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t ever want to eat one again in my entire life!!! Now that I can’t have a Twinkie all I want is a Twinkie! I just had a Woody Harrelson moment from Zombieland didn’t I? So that’s when I knew what had to be done. I needed to make Paleo Twinkies… And Paleo Hostess Cupcakes because who are we kidding, those are crazy delicious too.

Paleo ‘Hostess’ Chocolate Cupcakes
*Makes 12 cupcakes

Ingredients:
1 cup sifted blanched almond flour
1 tablespoon coconut palm sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon pink himalayan salt
few dashes cinnamon
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup canned coconut milk, full fat (room temperature)
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup organic palm shortening or coconut oil (melted)

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a medium sized bowl combine your dry ingredients, almond flour, coconut palm sugar, baking soda, salt and cinnamon, stir together and set aside.

3. Fill a medium size pot half-full with water and then heat on high until boiling. In a medium sized bowl combine chocolate chips and coconut milk. Hold the bowl over the pot of boiling water (being careful not to burn yourself!) and stir together until completely melted.

4. Then stir the 2 eggs, vanilla, and organic palm shortening or coconut oil into the melted chocolate and coconut milk mixture.

5. Now fold your dry ingredients into the melted chocolate mixture until completely combined.

6. Put foil cupcake liners in your cupcake pan or grease your pan if you won’t be using liners.

7. Pour batter in and fill about 2/3 full, they will rise slightly when baking.

8. Bake for 20 minutes. When a toothpick comes out clean your cupcakes are done.

9. Let them completely cool before you frost or inject the cream center filling into them.

10. Once completely cool, frost the tops of the cupcakes with the Paleo chocolate frosting (recipe below). Then fill a flavor injector with cream filling. Inject the cream into the bottom of the cupcake. You can then use the cream to decorate the tops of the cupcakes with any design you prefer. I went with the traditional Hostess swirls. Enjoy!

Paleo Chocolate Frosting

Ingredients:
1 cup chocolate chips
2 tablespoons canned coconut milk, full fat (room temperature)
1 tablespoon organic palm shortening

Directions:
1. Basically just do the same thing you did above for the cupcakes. Fill a medium size pot half-full with water and then heat on high until boiling. In a medium sized bowl combine chocolate chips, coconut milk and organic palm shortening. Hold the bowl over the pot of boiling water (being careful not to burn yourself!) and stir together until completely melted. Done and done. Use a knife to frost your cupcakes once they have completely cooled. This frosting would also be delicious on any other cupcake, it tastes just like store bought chocolate frosting and has a very similar consistency.

Paleo Cream Filling
*Used for both

Ingredients:
1/2 cup organic palm shortening
1/4 cup canned coconut milk, full fat (room temperature)
2 tablespoons coconut flour
2 tablespoons unsweetened vanilla almond milk
2 tablespoons pure maple syrup, grade B
1 tablespoon raw honey
1 tablespoon coconut oil (melted)
1 tablespoon arrowroot powder
1 tablespoon vanilla
pinch pink himalayan salt
pinch cinnamon

Directions:
1. Put all the ingredients together in a bowl and mix together until completely smooth and creamy. A hand mixer or whisk will work fine. In the words of Devo “just whip it, whip it good!”

Paleo Twinkie
*Makes about 5 Twinkies

Ingredients:
6 eggs
1/4 cup coconut nectar
1/4 cup pure maple syrup, grade B
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/2 teaspoon pink himalayan salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup plus more for greasing organic palm shortening

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. You can use a dedicated Twinkie pan or make your Twinkie foil baking tins. Picture instructions below*. If you don’t care about the shape of the Twinkies then a cupcake pan will work fine.

3. Mix together eggs, coconut nectar, maple syrup, and vanilla using a stand mixer, hand mixer, or whisk.

4. Then stir in the coconut flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda.

5. Now pour in the melted organic palm shortening and stir until completely smooth.

6. Grease your Twinkie foils or your cupcake pan and fill with batter half way. The dough will rise as it bakes.

7. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let them completely cool before you remove from the foil tins or cupcake pan.

8. Once completely cool remove and use a flavor injector* to inject cream filling into the center of the Twinkie. I used the traditional Hostess method and inserted cream into 3 places on the bottom, the left, center and right. Eat and enjoy!

*Twinkie Foil Tins

Take a large piece of foil and fold 4 times.

Then fold up the sides and smooth out the bottom.

Keep shaping foil until it somewhat resembles a Twinkie shape. See mine wasn’t perfect either!

Fill about halfway with batter. They rise during baking.

*If you don’t have a flavor injector for the cream filling you can also just use a plastic syringe tube. I’m sure you guys are a lot smarter than I am and have a way easier and better way to do this, but this is what I came up with!

I had a four day weekend for the Easter Holiday, so in between CrossFit 13.4, Church, Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and social gatherings (drinking wine and eating) I knew I had to get an awesome recipe out to you guys. I felt guilty not making at least two tasty treats since I did have 4 days to do it! I hope you enjoy these. Finding a stable cream center was a b!tch! I tried at least 3 different coconut milk whipped cream versions and they were all too runny. All’s well that ends well I suppose and I’m really happy with how these recipes came out! I need to start working on “real” meals and stuff for you guys, I know, but dessert is so much fun (and way tastier) I can’t help myself!

It was my friend Ali’s birthday so I gave her the rest of my cupcakes after Brad and I each had one (2). Both Ali and Brad who are not Paleo absolutely loved the cupcakes! Even Ali’s kids liked them and we all know how hard it is to trick kids into liking Paleo stuff when they’ve had the real thing! So until the apocalypse happens or Hostess comes back to life like a zombie to suck the health out of everyone, just make these Hostess treats, you won’t regret it. Until next week keep on keepin’ on! Oh and if you have a secret stash of Twinkies somewhere, just email me and I’ll give you my address to send them to. Just kidding of course!…(but seriously.)