Suck it Starbucks, you’ve just been Paleo hacked. Welcome friends to Pumpkin Season! It’s here, finally and it’s GLORIOUS! This will be the first of like 2376 pumpkin recipes to come because obviously I’m totally obsessed with pumpkin, so if you don’t like pumpkin I don’t know what to tell you. Come back in December? Still love you though. Should we hug it out? So how have you been? I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever! That’s because I’ve been on vacation. And vacation means no work, even blog work. What it does mean though is that I have lots of cool stuff to tell you!
Brad and I went camping in Big Bear for 4 days. It was so nice and relaxing and I love camping. Then it gets to like day 4 and I want my bed, my cats, my shower, and to not have everything smell like campfire. I did partake in some gluten-free S’mores though and they were amazing. Seriously, as good as the real thing. Even Brad said so and he doesn’t like sweets or gluten-free anything. Well he likes meat, but I digress…
Speaking of partaking it was also my birthday the other week. Forgive me Paleo blog readers for I have sinned…I ate so much non-Paleo food on my birthday it was redic…including, but not limited to VG’s Donuts, milkshakes, pizza, beer…basically everything I never eat I just shoved in my face all day. It was magnificent and it completely and totally reinforced why I eat Paleo! I felt soooooo disgusting! I was bloated, gassy (sexy), lethargic, unmotivated, tired, couldn’t concentrate and pretty much felt like crap all day. So I just called it an experiment on the effects of gluten and dairy consumption on the Paleo body and wouldn’t you know it the very next day I had a full blown allergy attack and had to take 2 Claritin. Sigh. Dairy gives me “seasonal allergies” and it sucks and I hate it. Confession and rant over with…for now.
I also got to hang out with my Paleo Blogger besties, Juli of PaleOMG and George of Civilized Caveman. I love them. I mean like love love them. Like love love love them. If I had to be in a Paleo Real World, I would only do it with them. This is the true story… of three Paleo Bloggers… picked to live in a house…work together and have their lives taped… to find out what happens… when people stop being polite… and start getting real…Then we would fight about George eating all the bacon and hogging the DVR with MMA shows (and apparently Amish Mafia?!) instead of me and Juli’s chick shows. Then they would get mad at me for eating all the chocolate and drinking all the booze in the house. It would be awesome. Speaking of awesome I got to eat so much good food! They cooked all the main courses and yep, you guessed it, I made dessert. They both requested my Paleo Chocolate Molten Lava Cake and what George and Juli want, George and Juli get. George even licked the ramekin. See why I love them?
So since I had an epic and way too fun last two weeks, I’m going to do a Whole30 and a 30 Day Sugar Detox starting October 1st. (Insert The Price is Right ‘Come on Down You Are The Next Contestant’ music here) This means no honey, no maple syrup, no fruit, no alcohol, no dark chocolate, only strict Paleo foods, no funny business. But it also means feeling absolutely freaking FANTASTIC so I’m very excited! Can you tell I like structure? You know what else I like? These Paleo Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Scone clones.
Paleo Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Scones
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup full fat coconut milk (refrigerated overnight)
1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3 organic cage-free eggs
4 cups fine blanched almond flour (Honeyville)
1 cup coconut palm sugar
1 tablespoon baking soda
1 tablespoon baking powder
3 tablespoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon pink himalayan salt
1 cup cold grass-fed butter, cubed
3 tablespoons of coconut butter, melted (Nikki’s Coconut Butter in Vanilla Cake Batter)
3 tablespoons of full fat canned coconut milk (refrigerated overnight)
Maple Cinnamon Glaze
3 tablespoons full fat canned coconut milk (refrigerated overnight)
3 tablespoons coconut butter, melted (Nikki’s Coconut Butter in Vanilla Cake Batter)
1 tablespoon pure maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
few dashes of cinnamon
few dashes of pumpkin pie spice
1. Preheat oven to 425 F. Grease a 9×13 glass pan then line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Set aside.
2. In a medium sized mixing bowl combine pumpkin, coconut milk, apple cider vinegar, vanilla, and eggs. Then whisk until mixed and set aside.
3. In a large mixing bowl combine the almond flour, coconut palm sugar, baking soda, baking powder, spices and salt and stir together using a fork. Now add the cold cubed butter use a stand mixer, hand mixer, or a whisk and stir together until the mix becomes crumbly. Then slowly add in the pumpkin mixture until combined.
4. Now transfer the dough to the greased 9×13 glass pan, smooth out the top and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. The longer the better, it will harden up the dough and make it easier to work with.
5. Once your dough is ready, cut down the middle horizontally and then cut X’s across. See picture below. I would recommend cutting smaller scones than in the picture, mine came out huge.
6. The dough will be much more sticky and wet than a traditional scone recipe, so use a spatula to remove the triangles from the glass pan to the parchment lined baking sheets. Then use your hands to shape and mold the triangles into scone shapes. Be sure to leave plenty of space in between each one as they will spread a lot while baking. I would recommend doing maybe 4-6 at a time just to be sure. Place the remaining dough back in the fridge while you are waiting for the first batch to bake. Bake for 13-15 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Repeat the process for the remaining dough.
7. Once all of your scones have baked and you are waiting for them to cool go ahead and make your two glazes. In two separate small bowls mix the ingredients together until combined. Then transfer each glaze to it’s own ziplock bag and cut a small hole in the corner tip of each. Squeeze out to glaze and decorate how ever you’d like. Enjoy!
If you aren’t feeling sconey (yes that’s a word) you could totally make some amazing Pumpkin Spice Cookies with Cinnamon Vanilla Frosting instead, using this exact same recipe! In fact when Brad tried them he said it reminded him of his Mom’s Pumpkin Cookies. Also let’s face it, cookies are easier to shape than scones. Don’t judge my ugly scones. But you know me, I’m stubborn and I had to have scones. There you have it.
So next week will be your last dessert post from me for 30 days. Are you okay? Did you just faint? At least I gave you a heads up! Anyway if you are interested in a little pre-Holiday party in your body, you should join Ciarra from Popular Paleo and I on our journey of awesome. We will both be posting tons of recipes for you guys and giving you plenty of easy and delicious meal ideas to go along with a Whole30 or to just clean it up a bit. Doesn’t that sound so fun! I say that now but wait until I haven’t had a drink for a week. Hmph. I predict our friend Bitter Betty will be making an appearance. Don’t act like you aren’t excited, Bitter Betty hasn’t been on the blog forever. For those of you who are new or don’t know, Bitter Betty is my pre-Paleo eating alter-ego. She’s snippy and she likes Oreo’s. Who doesn’t like Oreo’s? Dammit, I knew I forgot to eat something on my birthday! Here’s to another year of getting older, wiser, and eating cleaner.